10 Fatal Mistakes

Women Make In Relationships

Many women do not recognize that they have the power within themselves to live the life they truly desire. Too often, women find themselves forfeiting that inner strength for the counterfeit of an externally driven motivator—the expectations and demands of relationships in their lives.

Relationships affect us in the three primary dimensions of life—the physical, emotional and spiritual realms. When relationships are chaotic, abusive or draining, they infringe on your body, mind and spirit. A friend of mine recently broke up with a man she really cared about after finding out about an affair he was having with someone else. Physically, she began to gain weight and her health became an issue. Mentally, she became depressed and her emotional wellness was affected. Her spiritual life suffered also as she allowed the negativity of her situation to shut out positive spiritual influences and people from her life.

There are 10 fatal mistakes that she made and other women seem to make in relationships that are listed below:

1. TRUSTING TOO QUICKLY –Revealing to many intimate details about your life without taking time to assess whether or not this person is worthy of trust can backfire. Real intimacy takes time and cannot be rushed.

2. VULNERABILITY—Knowing what your own wants and needs are can help decrease your vulnerability to be manipulated. For example, if security is important to you, and someone promises it to you, you may fall into something based on that promise and it can lure you into a situation that will not provide that at all.

3. SETTLING FOR LESS—Desperation to have someone, anyone, be there can cause you to settle for less and less is not more when it comes to relationships in your life.

4. ACCEPTING DISRESPECT—Verbal and physical abuse are never acceptable in a relationship! Making excuses and accepting this behavior tears at the very core of your being. Respect is not optional.

5. LOSING YOUR SENSE OF SELF—Don’t allow feelings of guilt or unworthiness to steal your self-worth. If you do not love your own self, you cannot expect anyone to.

6. ISOLATION – Don’t shut out positive sources or turn away those who have your best interest at heart. Their support may be the link to safety.

7. DWELLING ON THE NEGATIVE CIRCUMSTANCE—Being consumed with the situation where it’s all you think about, talk about and worry about. That doesn’t make it change—only taking action to do something different can bring a different response.

8. TRYING TO "CHANGE" HIM—Nobody can make anybody be different. People are who they are and when someone shows you their real face, see it as it is.

9. AVOIDING THE PAIN—Denying that you are hurting doesn’t make the pain go away. You must deal with the issue at hand and make a decision about how you will handle it. Denial of what is going on will not stop the inner pain you feel.

10. REPLACEMENT SYNDROME--Rushing out to find someone else to fill the void of the ended relationship. This can result in double disaster, especially when you find yourself attracted to the same kind of individual or situation. Take time to clear your head and heart. Wait a while before jumping into another relationship.

It is important for women to recognize and understand that being whole—physically, emotionally and spiritually—is key to experiencing relationships that contribute to a healthy and happy life. Being able to love and accept yourself is the first step to opening the exciting path of a beautiful and wholesome relationship with someone else.

Why people tell Lies?.

It is not fun to think about the lies people tell to those they love.

NOTE : LIES NEVER LAST LONG, LIES BREAK RELATIONS

But, at the same time, people tend to be curious about the topics which couples try to hide and conceal from each other.

The following "list of lies" comes from a survey of dating and married couples who were asked to disclose the issues they try to keep hidden from their partners through lies, concealment, and deception.

Relational Issues 

Past Relationships - partners lie about their past level of involvement ("I never really loved her," "I am much closer to you," "I love you so much more than anyone else")...

Feelings, Interest, Crushes, and Attraction to Others - people lie about their feelings and interest in others - often includes ex-partners, friends, someone at work...

Secret Contact - lovers lie about their friendships, time spent with others, accidental encounters (running into ex), phone calls, e-mails, and text messages with others. Essentially people lie about intimate, but non-sexual contact with someone else...

Level of Commitment – people lie about their feelings for partner, uncertainty or doubts about the relationship - not sure really love or want to marry partner or stay together...

Flirting with Others - people lie about flirting with others...

Betraying Confidences - lovers lie to each other about keeping secrets confidential...

Hide Time with Others - people hide activities and time spent with others - usually friends or co-workers...

Sexual Issues

Sexual Fantasies – lovers conceal having sexual fantasies about others during sex. Or thinking about sex with someone else - usually the fantasy involves a partner's friend, family member, or a co-worker...

Masturbation - men, in particular, lying about masturbating or how often it happens. Men also lie about fantasies during masturbation, using pornography...

Sexual Enjoyment - people lie about how good sex with partner is ("You're the best," "That was great!")...

Sexual History - lovers lie about the number of past partners, unsafe sex practices, what they have and have not done with others, their virginity, having an abortion, childhood abuse...

Infidelity and Cheating - spouses lie about having sex with other people... sometimes it involves issues of paternity...

Sexual Orientation - some people lie about same sex contact or interest...

Negative Thoughts

Negative Feelings towards Partner’s Family/friends - people lie about liking other people who are important to a partner...

Negative Feelings about Partner’s Physical Appearance - lovers lie about liking their partner's appearance, hair, weight, age, clothes...

Negative Feelings about Partner’s Career - people lie about liking or respecting their partner's job, school, career choices...

Negative Feelings about Partner’s Behavior/character - lovers lie about liking their partner's kids, habits, personality, sense of humor...

Hide Other's Negative Feelings about Partner - people lie about other people's true feelings towards a partner (i.e., my family/friends don't like you)...

Negative Behaviors

Drug Use - lovers lie about past or current drug use...

Alcohol Consumption - partners lie about alcohol consumption...

Smoking - people lie about smoking...

Gambling - lovers lie about gambling...

Differences

Hide Important Beliefs - lovers lie about true feelings on issues (i.e., politics, religion, pets) in order to get along with partner...

Enjoyment of Activities - people lie about enjoying things a partner likes to do...

Financial Issues

Resources - people lie about their income, resources, inheritance...

Debt - lovers lie about their level of debit...

Spending Habits - people lie about how they spend money...

Insecurities

Physical Appearance/health - people lie about age, weight, health...

Jealously - lovers lie about being jealous and snooping...

Career Performance - partners lie about how well work, school, career is going...

Family and Friends - lovers lie to make family and friends seem better...

Love and Emotions - people lie to their partners about feeling vulnerable, scared, and being overly emotional...